Is That A Cock In Your Pocket Or Are You Just Here To Kill Me? - Indy goes to see Jordan Gray @The Stand

I did something I've never done before last week - I went to a comedy show by myself. I was a little nervous but I was glad I went. My first exposure to Jordan Gray was in Transaction and loved it so much I finished it in a night; so I was pretty sure I was in for a good time. I was right.

Ms Gray whirled and pranced her way through an hour of musical comedy talking about the difficulties of being trans in a world that's getting more and more hostile to the Queer community, the difficulties of being a comedian and being that hot, being married to a beautiful woman who unfortunately is more ready to throw down than you are, and the death threats she received for getting her cock out on live television. I may have buried the lead a bit there.

People "wanting to do a murder on her with a gun" was a central tenet of the show and connected everything together. The part that really stuck with me though was her longing for some of the ways cis women can connect with each other which would, sadly, be out of her reach.

Namely, the 'cervical camraderie' of providing another woman with a tampon when she needs it. I have to admit, this had never crossed my mind before. It is an unwritten rule that if you have a tampon or a pad and another woman needs one, you hand it over immediately. It's just something you do. Womens bathrooms are some of the most friendly places in the world, hell, I'm made friends in Polo in Glasgow by hyping up other women in the bathroom. It's a magical experience.

It's funny the things you take for granted when you are born with the equipment that matches your gender. The ability to have a baby, or a period, are inconveniences to me and honestly I'd rather have the whole lot ripped out and given to someone who would appreciate it. Unfortunately, medical science has not caught up to my demands yet, which is very rude of it. I'd happily donate it to a trans woman or someone who is infertile, goodness knows I won't use it. The very thought makes me feel slightly ill.

However, biological issues aside, the death threats Ms Gray receives just further cements that she is a woman. After all, what is more feminine than receiving abuse and death threats because of your gender? It's possibly the worst bit of being a woman, but it is still a part of it. If you didn't feel part of the club before, Ms Gray, you certainly are now. Welcome, we have trauma.

Really, with how awful it is to be a woman in most places in the world right now, we need to love and protect trans women even harder. I may have been born like this, but trans women have the gumption to go "That's who I am. I'm choosing this." And that's pretty punk.

Thank you for coming to Glasgow Ms Gray, we all had a wonderful time. She's coming back to Scotland later in the year and if you want to bask in some top tier chaos, you won't find finer. 5 stars.

P.S. Ms Gray, if you are reading this by some stroke of divine intervention, I think it's so lovely how much you love your wife and showing trans joy (especially right now) is an act of rebellion and punk as shit. Mr The Times can kick rocks.

P.P.S. The top result for this on Google is transphobic and uses the wrong pronouns for Ms Gray. So if you share this one, you're doing us both a solid.

P.P.P.S. Yes, I know this is late as fuck. Want my work quicker? Pay me! Want to work with me? Email me!